Schadenfreude And "American Idol"

I've never been a fan of "American Idol" and probably never will be. But it's a cultural phenomenon that can't be ignored.

I have to admit, I will take a peek over to Fox during commercials when they run the audition shows, as they will tonight (Fox, 8 p.m.) because they are usually pretty funny.

But after last night, I may stop doing even that. As I was getting ready to leave for team trivia, I had the TV on "AI" while I was getting ready, and they had this one guy on who was a vocal coach. He made the rather unfortunate choice of trying to do an Aerosmith song, something that was not really in sync with the sort of voice he had.

In addition, he made the song sound more like a Broadway show tune than hard rock, and he didn't have the greatest voice in the world (though hardly the worst either). You could tell that his entire life was waiting for this one moment to prove himself.

Naturally, he didn't get picked. But the judges seemed especially cruel with him, particularly Randy. When Simon Cowell turns to you and says, "Boy, your comments are a little excessive," you know you may have gone over the edge.

As for the poor guy, he seemed more crushed than most of the rest, and I did have to ponder the guy's future. I hope that being a voice coach wasn't his day job, because it's hard to imagine he was going to have a huge list of students after being humiliated in front of 30 million people and having Randy say "I wouldn't tell anyone to take lessons from you."

I don't know, a lot of these people do embarrass themselves, but it's because they have no business being on stage in the first place, but none of their friends or family tried to stop them from humiliating themselves on TV, you know, the William Hungs of the world.

But some of these people aren't terrible, and though they will never have a music career, it's a little sad to see their dreams crushed like that. I'm not sure I'll be catching the audition process after this.

Frankly, the judges themselves have a spotty record at best in picking the winner, as do the fans who vote. "Dreamgirls" star Jennifer Hudson, who may end up with an Oscar in the next few weeks, got knocked out relatively early the year she tried out. Clay Aiken didn't win, but has a bigger career than the guy who did.

Sure, you have some people with talent like Kelly Clarkson who won, but you have some headscratchers in there as well. None was worse than Fantasia.

OK, I never watched any of the "AIs" with her, but I had the misfortunate of catching Fantasia's rendition of the National Anthem before baseball's All-Star Game a couple of years ago. Now, being a professional sports writer, I've heard my fair share of bad National Anthems, but Fantasia's was far and away the worst. (OK, technically Roseanne Barr and Carl Lewis were the worst, but neither of them ever won a singing contest). For the excruciating four minutes Fantasia performed, I envied the deaf.

In the end, music comes down to individual taste. None of my tastes coincide with that of "AI," but unfortunately that puts me in a small minority.

R.I.P. BENNY PARSONS: I never knew the NASCAR commentator personally, but I did hire his son Keith when I was the sports editor of The Hickory Daily Record, and Keith was far and away the best guy on my staff. The massive success of NASCAR in this country owes no small debt to Benny Parsons, who made it very relatable to the average person in his role as a broadcaster.

WEDNESDAY'S BEST BET: A rather quiet night, as the other networks shy away from "American Idol." As always, I will plug "Friday Night Lights" (NBC, 8 p.m.), continually one of the best dramas on TV.

Also, the delayed second episode of "Knights of Prosperity" (ABC, 9 p.m.) finally airs, though I fear it may have been permanently harmed by being pre-empted last week and going head-to-head with "AI." Way to kill a promising show, ABC.