Those Mean English

Last week, Piers Morgan won "Celebrity Apprentice" even though producers essentially cast him as "the bad guy" compared to All-American cowboy Trace Adkins.

One of the keys to Morgan's victory was calling in help from "American Idol" judge Simon Cowell, routinely cast as the villain on that show.

Tonight, perhaps the "meanest" of all is back with chef Gordon Ramsey, who brings back a new season of "Hell's Kitchen" (Fox, 9 p.m.) Fox promotes the show by showing clips of Ramsey berating the various chefs on the show.

Being half-English myself, I have to wonder why the English are so often cast as the villains on these reality shows. Are there hard feelings left over from the Boston Tea Party?

The interesting thing is, if you actually watch the shows, most of these guys aren't particularly villainous. Morgan was smug when Omarosa lost again and again, and his tactics may have been underhanded, but as he pointed out, the goal was to win each week. Donald Trump himself has kicked people off "The Apprentice" for NOT using certain tactics to win. And Morgan showed a lot of class both in talking about Adkins and in representing his charity, to aid wounded American soldiers.

Cowell has been the king of the bad guys, but in the bits of "AI" I've seen over the years, the only time he gets really nasty with his comments are for the people trying out and who are clearly there to play for the camera - not the serious contestants who are actually trying. The times I've watched, I've actually seen Randy Jackson be more mean than Cowell. And when Cowell does give praise to a contestant, it seems to mean a lot more, because you know he doesn't give out that much of it.

I haven't watched "Hell's Kitchen," but I know Ramsay does do a lot of charity work, so I'm wondering how much of it is him being sincerely mean and how much of it is editing and playing to the camera.

So let's stop stereotyping the English guys as the bad guys next time a new reality show comes along.

TUESDAY'S BEST BETS: Barbara Walters explores the idea of living to be 150 (ABC, 10 p.m.) Me? I'm taking it one day at a time.

"CSI: Miami" (CBS, 10 p.m.) concludes a two-parter from last night. I'm guessing David Caruso will make a dramatic gesture with his sunglasses at some point.

And finally, you can catch that mean Simon Cowell on "American Idol" (Fox, 8 p.m.)

Admitting I Was Wrong

I'm a big enough person to admit when I am wrong (rare though that is).

When "Celebrity Apprentice" (NBC, 9 p.m.) first debuted a couple of months ago, I was pretty derisive and snickering in my comments. Usually, "all-star" versions of so-called reality shows are among the worst installments.

But you know what? "Celebrity Apprentice" has been pretty entertaining this season. Somehow, the producers have made it all work.

Sure, it does seem fixed somewhat in that Omarosa should have been fired the first week but somehow made it to the final six, despite complete incompentance and obnoxiousness. Sure, some of the "celebrity" picks (Nadia Comenchi anyone?) were pretty lame.

But Piers Morgan has been a star, Carol Alt still lights up any room she's in, and people like Trace Adkins and Stephen Baldwin have been entertaining. The boardroom sessions, in which Donald Trump fires a candidate, have been some of the best in the entire series.

In fact, other than keeping Omarosa around for way too long, my lone regret was Gene Simmons essentially quitting the show in the first few episodes. Simmons was hilarious and the one person on the planet whose ego trumped Trump's. (Seeing Trump practically beg Simmons to reconsider his actions made for one of the best boardrooms ever).

"Celebrity Apprentice" wraps up tonight with a two-hour finale as Morgan and Adkins square off for their respective charities. It should be a fun ride.

THURSDAY'S BEST BETS: Oy, what am I going to do with "Lost" for the next few weeks? ABC is re-airing the season premiere tonight, sandwiched by new two new episodes of "Miss Guided" at 8 p.m. and "Eli Stone" at 10 p.m.

"Smallville" (CW, 8 p.m.) and "Reaper" (CW, 9 p.m.) are both new.

Finally, the NCAA basketball tournament (CBS, 7 p.m.), or what I like to term, a waste of $5, resumes tonight and runs through the weekend before next weekend's Final Four.

News & Notes

Well, I wasn't the only person who flat out hated NBC's "Quarterlife."

In addition to most of the major TV critics in the country also giving it a negative review, the viewers apparently listened to us. "Quarterlife" had the lowest ratings in that timeslot for NBC in nearly two decades, capturing about a third of "Law & Order's" audience.

"Quarterlife finished with a 1.3 rating - about 3.1 million viewers - in the 18-49 demographic.

NBC is sticking with the show at least one more week, and possibly more when it moves to its regular Sunday timeslot. If anybody cares.

AROUND THE DIAL: In a good news/bad news type of deal, "Dexter" showrunner Daniel Cerone is leaving the Showtime hit. But at least he is joining ABC's "Dirty Sexy Money." ... Gary Cole will join the cast of "Desperate Housewives" as Dana Delany's ex-husband. ...

THURSDAY'S BEST BETS: So, what did happen to the helicopter that carried Sayid and Desmond to the boat on "Lost?" (ABC, 9 p.m.) Tonight, we find out in this very Desmond-centric episode. For years, "Lost" fans have speculated about time travel being a part of the island's mystery, and there may be an element of that with the helicopter. It's followed by a new episode of the charming "Eli Stone" at 10 p.m.

"American Idol" (Fox, 8 p.m.) votes off another contestant, while on "Celebrity Apprentice" (NBC, 9 p.m.), Donald Trump merely fires them. That show is followed by a new "Lipstick Jungle" at 10 p.m.

'Dexter' On CBS

You can make a strong argument that Showtime has surpassed HBO in producing quality TV among pay-cable networks, especially with "The Sopranos" no longer on the air.

If you make that argument, "Dexter" would be at the top of the list.

Based upon a series of novels, "Dexter" stars Michael C. Hall as a police lab tech who moonlights as a serial killer. His victims? People in Miami who have committed crimes but somehow skirted the law. Dexter is a one-man judge, jury and executioner, trained by his late adoptive father to channel his latent homicidal instincts into a force for good.

Thanks to the strike, you can catch "Dexter" on network TV, when CBS begins airing the first season of the series Sunday night at 10 p.m.

There's been a little controversy over this, since obviously being on a network, the producers will have to cut out the strong language and nudity, as well as some of the gore that is one of the hallmarks of the series.

Can I recommend a watered-down "Dexter"? Yes. Though I think the series is best-presented in its Showtime format, there is enough great about the series that watching it on CBS won't affect the average viewer.

Hall is fantastic as Dexter, a total opposite to his character on "Six Feet Under." He is Emmy-worthy in his performance. His supporting is solid as well, although many fans of the series wish the whole thing was about Dexter and wouldn't go off into the various subplots.

"Dexter" isn't for the faint of heart, but it's a great mix of storytelling, acting and even humor.

THURSDAY RECAP: DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS ABOUT "LOST!!!"

SERIOUSLY!

OK, still here? Good.

Man, oh man, assuming the "Lost" producers have every subplot figured out, the ending of this series in a couple of years will be a humdinger, given all the little clues and twists they are leaving for us with the flash forwards.

Sayid (Naveen Andrews) becoming Ben's (Michael Emerson) personal hitman? Didn't see that one coming. And, of course, it begs the question about who the Germans were that Sayid was dispatched to infiltrate.

I can't wait to find out who the final two "Oceanic Six" survivors are.

Meanwhile, the one bad thing about "Lost" is that it's opposite "Supernatural," which might have aired its best episode ever. What could have been a simple ripoff of "Groundhog Day" as Dean (Jensen Ackles) is killed over and over while Sam (Jared Padelecki) is trapped in the same day turned out to be a brilliant mix of humor and pathos. This continues to be TV's most underrated show.

Finally, "Celebrity Apprentice" continues to be bizarrely entertaining, though enough is enough with Omorosa. She was beyond ridiculous last night and should have been booted off the show because of her behavior, no matter which team won.

WEEKEND'S BEST BETS: NBC, which sends me DVDs for nearly everything it does, did not send me the DVD for the "Knight Rider" TV movie airing Sunday at 9 p.m. So I can't tell you if it's any good or not, but my expectations aren't high. In fact, the one reason why I really wanted to see it - "Arrested Development's" Will Arnett voicing KITT - is gone as Arnett was replaced by Val Kilmer. Justin Bruening takes over the role as the son of Michael Knight, who fights crime in a Mustang supercar. And yes, David Hasselhoff does make an appearance in the movie, which may serve as a pilot if it's successful. It follows the finale of "American Gladiators."

"Monk" (USA, 9 p.m.) begins its two-part season finale as Adrian (Tony Shalhoub) is arrested for the murder of his wife's killer and becomes a fugitive. It's followed by the season finale of "Psych" at 10 p.m.

On Saturday, "Torchwood" (BBC America, 9 p.m.)

And I was remiss last week in forgetting to mention that one of TV's best new shows, "Breaking Bad" (AMC, 10 p.m.) is all-new Sunday.

Oscar Picks

Keith Demko of macon.com's Reel Fanatic blog and I have teamed up for our Oscar predictions this year. Last year, we did a podcast, but this year, it's full video.

You can check it out here:

The Oscars will air Feb. 24 on ABC, complete with writers and actors now that the strike is over. Though I rarely watch a full Oscars telecast, I prefer it to the option of three hours of clips from previous shows, which was the plan had the strike continued.

Speaking of the strike, now that it's over, here's an amusing tale. As regular readers of this blog know, I am trying to break into the world of professional screenwriting. My latest work, completed in November, is an animation tale. Since animation wasn't part of the contract that was being disputed between the studios and the writers, I could sell a script (in theory) without being a scab, since I don't qualify as a member of the WGA.

Anyway, as I called around in November after the strike had started, a number of companies said they wouldn't discuss my script until after the strike was over, even though it was technically legal to do so.

Finally, I called the WGA and asked about the status of animated scripts. They acknowledged that it was true, animated scripts weren't covered.

WGA LADY: Let me ask you, are you a member of the guild?
ME: No, ma'am.

WGA LADY: Do you ever want to be?
ME: Of course.

WGA LADY: Then maybe you don't want to try to be selling a script during the strike.

I stopped trying after that, since I didn't want to cross picket lines even though I wasn't a member of the union. Wednesday was the first official day I could start calling production companies about my script once more. Of course, me and the 20,000 members of the WGA, all of whom have TV and movie credits and agents, so the strike ending now really helps me very little. But if I ever do sell anything, then hopefully the concessions the union won will be of great benefit in the future.

THURSDAY'S BEST BETS: TVGuide. com is reporting that "Lost" (ABC, 9 p.m.) has proven so successful on Wednesday's that the ABC suits are considering airing the show in the 10 p.m. slot behind "Grey's Anatomy" when new episodes start airing in April. An "Ugly Betty"-"Grey's"-"Lost" trifecta would be powerful indeed. The Web site is also reporting that "Lost's" eighth episode, which actor Michael Emerson told me ends with a gigantic cliffhanger and shocking twist, may be pushed back to April to air with the five episodes left to be filmed. I guess we'll see. It's followed by "Eli Stone" at 10 p.m. tonight.

"Celebrity Apprentice" (NBC, 9 p.m.) finds Omorosa and Piers on the same team for once, leading to all sorts of wackiness. It's followed by "Lipstick Jungle," which should make at least one reader of this blog happy.

Kara is back (albeit with amnesia) on "Smallville" (CW, 8 p.m.), followed by the always-entertaining "Supernatural" at 9 p.m.

Finally, Fox is airing the NAACP Image Awards, hosted by Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin.