Rule Brittania

I officially became a British citizen yesterday.

Don't worry, I haven't lost my love for the good ole US of A. I still love baseball, mom and apple pie. (OK, not so much with the apple pie; I prefer cherry pie, but still...)

As some of you loyal dozens of readers know, I've mentioned in the past that I'm half-English on my dad's side, so I qualify as a dual-citizen. So why go through all the time and expense (seven frakkin' months and $439!!!) to get my UK passport?

As a UK citizen, if I sell one of my screenplays to a UK producer, any movie we shoot qualifies for certain tax breaks; even more so if we were to shoot in Britain or in the Commonwealth, like Canada or Australia. Both of the scripts I optioned were to UK producers (evidently, their standards are A LOT lower than US producers!), so the tax credit thing was actually a factor in my favor.

Plus, I get the thrill of being like my new fellow countryman, James Bond, carrying the multiple passports and all.

Also, the UK passport allows me to work anywhere in Europe without a visa, because of the whole EU thing. When I optioned my first script a few years ago, that producer was extremely inept with a lot of things (he sent me a list of potential directors which included John Frankenheimer, who was a great director WHEN HE WAS ALIVE) but one thing he did know was about all the financing that goes on with other countries these days.

That's one of the big ways films and TV shows are made, filming in locales outside of LA because of production costs. Almost every state in the union now tax credits for filming there, and the state of Georgia recently increased the benefits to filmmakers who shoot here and use Georgia crews. (They even get a little bit extra if they somehow mention Georgia, I think.) When I visited the Austin Film Festival last year, members of the Texas Film Commission were there lobbying filmmakers to shoot in the state and not go to neighboring Louisiana, which was offering even bigger financial incentives at the time.

That's why you see so many TV shows shoot in Vancouver or other parts of Canada; it's all about the incentives. Generally, most shows shoot where they get the maximum amount in incentives, then shoot exterior shots in the actual city where the show is set. That's why there have been US-produced TV made as far away as Australia; believe it or not, it's cheaper.

Anyway, I don't know how effective a Brit I will make, so maybe it's a good thing I'm staying here for the foreseeable future. When I told my dad yesterday about getting my passport, he asked me if I knew the lyrics to "God Save The Queen."

"Does the Sex Pistols version count?" I said.

WEDNESDAY'S BEST BETS: Fellow Brit Simon Cowell went nuts apparently in his praise of David Archuleta over David Simon in last night's "American Idol." But it's the voters who decide, and we will find out the results tonight (Fox, 8 p.m.) in the two-hour finale. Not to criticize my fellow Americans, but these are the same voters who picked Taylor Hicks over Katharine McPhee, so there's no accounting for taste.

CBS wraps up the seasons of "Criminal Minds" at 9 p.m. and "CSI: NY" at 10 p.m., while "Law & Order" (NBC, 10 p.m.) also draws to a close for the season.

Finally, "Boston Legal" (ABC, 10 p.m.) celebrates American justice with a case where the partners square off about a town that tries to secede from the union. Seriously, town, just go for dual citizenship.

Bubbles Burst On Some Shows

The fates of a few shows were decided over the weekend, as Fox announced it won't be bringing back "New Amsterdam" or "Back To You," while The CW is dropping the sublime "Aliens In America." Meanwhile, ABC has inexplicably picked up "Boston Legal" for a fifth season.

I'm not sure which is more painful, seeing "Boston Legal" back for another year or "Aliens In America" go away. The former is a ridiculous show that vacillates between comedy and drama (not in a good way) and ends up stealing Emmy votes from more worthy competitors. During its long hiatus this year, no one seemed to miss it.

The latter was the best new sitcom on TV, albeit one of the most ratings-challenged. It's style and sharp writing was reminiscent of "Malcolm In The Middle" at its height, and the show had a lot of charm to go with it. And its central theme of a Muslim student transplanted to Midwestern America offered sharp insight without ever becoming preachy.

As for the Fox shows, "New Amsterdam" never seemed to find any momentum after getting retooled from its original pilot and airing during the strike. There was enough of interest there where I would have liked to have seen a few more episodes, but I won't be losing any sleep over its departure, either.

"Back To You," which included a stellar cast of Kelsey Grammer, Patricia Heaton, Fred Willard and others, and a stellar crew, didn't live up to the hype. It's premise of a TV news crew seemed tired when compared to the TV classics "Mary Tyler Moore" and "Murphy Brown." With all of the talent attached to this project, maybe my expectations were too high, but the laughs just weren't there.

MONDAY'S BEST BETS: She's back! Tabloid diva Britney Spears reprises her role as a dim receptionist on "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS, 8:30 p.m.), along with the sublime Sarah Chalke as Ted's (Josh Radnor) love interest. Spears was perfectly adequate last time, but did bring in much-needed ratings with her appearance, so let's hope it's more of the same. It's part of an all-new lineup that includes "Big Bang Theory," "2 1/2 Men" and "Rules of Engagement," all followed by a new "CSI: Miami" at 10 p.m.

"Bones" (Fox, 8 p.m.) gives a shameless plug for "American Idol" tonight, while "House" (Fox, 9 p.m.) begins a two-part season finale.

"The Bachelor" (ABC, 10 p.m.) makes his final choice tonight. I'm sure the relationship will be long-lasting and produce lots of grandchildren in the future.

"American Gladiators" (NBC, 8 p.m.) returns to the air tonight with a two-hour premiere. Let's hope they cut down on the boring interviews and up the action this time around. It's followed by a new "Medium" at 10 p.m.

Finally, "Gossip Girl" (CW, 8 p.m.) and "One Tree Hill" (CW, 9 p.m.) present new installments.