DVD Picks: Arresting TV

DVD Pick of the Week: "Arrested Development" Season Three. This is your chance to own the final season of one of television's most unique comedies. Though some storylines worked better than others, the brilliant cast (including Jason Bateman, Jeffrey Tambor, Jessica Walter, Portia di Rossi, Will Arnett and David Cross among others) always made "AD" worth a half-hour of your time.

"AD" was one of those shows that was a bit ahead of its time, a little too quirky for the average viewer that would rather support more pedestrian efforts. I credit Fox for actually sticking with it for three years despite its low ratings, and letting the show go out on its own final note.

Other DVDs of note include the second season of "Desperate Housewives," which contains an unaired storyline involving Teri Hatcher's Susan. "DH" didn't live up to its outstanding first season, and shamefully wasted the talents of Alfre Woodard and other members of the cast. My biggest reason for recommending it is the outstanding work of Marcia Cross, who always shined with both humor and real depth of emotion. Watching Bree argue with her mother-in-law over what tie her late husband Rex would wear at his funeral was the highlight of "DH's" season.

"South Park," Season Eight is also being released, containing the "Passion of the Jew" episode, among others.

Next week's releases include season two of "Lost."

Casting the Bones

I'm a great believer in the old saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

I wish the producers of "Bones" (Fox, 8 p.m.) followed suit.

The second season of the hit show opens tonight with the title character, Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan (Emily Deschanel) investigating a mysterious train crash with FBI Agent Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz). What makes the crash so mysterious is that among the victims is a U.S. senator and it was apparently caused by multi-billionaire businessman.

I enjoyed "Bones" quite a bit during its first season even though its plots often strained credibility. After all, Brennan spent more time out of the lab working cases with Booth than she did in the lab doing her thing. I've never read the "Bones" books, written by real-life forensic anthropologist Kathy Reichs (whose life inspired the Bones mysteries) so I don't know if Brennan is out actively solving cases in those.

What works in "Bones" is the strong development of the characters and the relationship between Brennan and Booth, driven by the terrific chemistry of Deschanel and Boreanaz. I also enjoyed the "squids," the nickname given to Bones' forensics team. But in the season two opener, the producers have added a new boss (Tamara Taylor). She, much like the title character, is a beautiful, super-smart investigator of dead things who is now Bones' boss. It just seems to me as the producers are trying to shake things up when they were already on the correct path. Taylor is fine in the part, though the writing seems to try to integrate her too quickly into the cast rather than let it develop naturally. (She gets to "save the day" when she stands up to a U.S. Attorney).

Fans of the show will know that the season ended last year with Brennan learning some startling truths about her presumed-dead parents and her own childhood. The producers address this throughout this episode, and it will obviously be a theme throughout the season.

WEDNESDAY'S BEST BET: "Justice" (9 p.m., Fox) was reviewed here last week, so I won't rehash all of the details of the pilot. Led by "Alias" alum Victor Garber, it's a stylish, somewhat cynical look at the world of a high-profile law firm. What makes "Justice" different than other legal shows is that it goes through the entire process, such as media spin and jury selection. Each episode ends with a flashback to the crime to see whether or not the verdict was correct.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?: NBC is going in a radically different direction than ABC did with Monday Night Football. For its Sunday gridiron broadcasts, the Peacock brought in legendary composer John Williams to do the theme music. Instead of Hank Williams Jr., all of your rowdy friends will hear pop diva Pink perform a new theme song, "Waiting All Day For Sunday Night" which is set to Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself For Loving You."

Unreal

Tonight, the latest venture in so-called reality programming hits the air with "Celebrity Duets" (8 p.m., Fox), co-created by "American Idol" host Simon Cowell.

Tune in, and you get two hours of Lea Thompson, Lucy Lawless, wrestling star Chris Jericho and others sing duets with the likes of Clint Black, Belinda Carlisle, Randy Travis, Gladys Knight and Macy Gray. Macon's own Little Richard will serve as one of the judges. Supposedly, all of the celebrities recruited can actually sing.

I'm one of the few people apparently who doesn't watch "Idol." I admit to flipping over to it during commercials when they are having the tryouts, just to amuse myself with a bit of schadenfreude. Last season, I actually caught eventual winner Taylor Hicks' tryout. I remember thinking at the time that no one who dances like "Seinfeld's" Elaine Benes could actually win the thing, but apparantly, America wanted to vote for someone who moves like a constipated-man-hit-by-a-taser rather than the lovely Katharine McPhee. ("Idol" fans, take note: McPhee is among the front-runners for the lead role in the movie version of "Wonder Woman.")

In case you wonder what Telegraph staffers do with their lives, I can guarantee that most of my co-workers will probably be skipping "Duets" because they will be catching the latest installment of "Big Brother" (9 p.m., CBS). They talk about nothing else. Incessantly.

Perhaps none of the reality shows puzzles me as much as "Big Brother," in which all they seem to do is sit around and talk. There are a few contrived contests here and there, but really, what's the point? At least on "Survivor," you get to see the contestants starve to death over a few weeks. In the European versions of "Big Brother," you actually get to the more R-rated activities among the housemates, so I get that. Not so with the U.S. version, which strikes me as rather pointless.

The reality stuff is only going to get worse. I got a press release from NBC Monday which announced a deal with Ashton Kutcher's production company to produce "The Real Life Wedding Crashers," in which actors will "crash" real life weddings. It won't be all fun and games, though. According to the release, "The pranksters are expected to do more than liven up the stress and drama common to many weddings. They also intend to occasionally bring families together in emotional moments." Just when you think NBC has finally gotten its act together with arguably the best new fall lineup of anyone, they remind you why they've been languishing in overall mediocrity.

This isn't meant to trash all reality TV. I enjoy "The Amazing Race" on CBS and even "The Apprentice," and one of the best of them all was "Spy," produced by the BBC. (You can catch reruns of "Spy" right now late Sunday nights on PBS.) But for every "Amazing Race" or "Idol" that is produced, there are three "Big Brothers" out there on the airwaves causing unemployment among the real writers in Hollywood.

TUESDAY'S BEST BET: Like you even have to ask. "Rescue Me" (10 p.m., FX) wraps up its season with pretty much every member of TV's best ensemble cast facing life-changing dilemmas. A brief rundown:

--Tommy (Denis Leary) must decide between his pregnant ex-wife Janet (Andrea Roth), who may be carrying his or his late brother's unborn child, and nutty Sheila (Callie Thorne), who just bought herself and Tommy a giant house in which to retire.
--The chief (Jack McGee) is trying to recover from a Viagra-induced heart attack.
--Sean (Steven Pasquale) just married Tommy's psychotic sister Maggie (Tatum O'Neal).
--Mike (Mike Lombardi) is trying to work out his sexual orientation. He seems to have settled on being bi-sexual, having gotten the numbers of both a brother and sister at a bar last week. Good for him!
--Kenny (John Scurti) is contemplating retiring to a life of fishing and moving in with a really hot, soon-to-be-ex nun. Tommy's monologue two weeks ago admonishing Kenny for dating a "bride of Christ" alone should get Leary the Emmy next year.
--Franco (Daniel Sunjata) is wondering whether his relationship with a photographer is meant to be when both of them notice her rather unfortunate resemblence to his daughter.

I'm honestly depressed right now that this is the last episode of "Rescue Me" for 2006. Coupled with the impending arrival of more reality shows like "Real Life Wedding Crashers," well, that just makes my week complete.

Emmys Wrap

So, not a great run for the TV Guy in his first round of Emmy picks.

I nailed Best Comedy, Best Actor (Drama) and Best Supporting Actress (Comedy), but that was it. I would point out that in three other categories — Best Actress (Comedy) and Best Supporting Actor (Comedy and Drama) — the person I said who should win actually did.

The problem lies not with myself but with my stars. There is really no way to predict the oddball nature of the Academy, especially with all the changes in the voting. How can you have a night of what is supposed to be the best of TV and have shows like "Lost" and "The Sopranos" (among others) not represented in most of the key categories? When the Academy chooses to nominate Chris Meloni over the likes of James Gandolfini and Hugh Laurie, how you can you predict the fickleness of voters? A show that is "hot" is just as likely to suffer for it ("Grey's Anatomy" this year) in the voting as it will be rewarded for it ("Desperate Housewives" last year).

I read a major TV columnist over the weekend comparing an Emmy win these days to a bowling trophy in terms of its significance, which is kind of a shame, actually. Perhaps one day, they will figure out a nomination process that gets it right, you know, like the Golden Globes do annually.

MONDAY TV: I finally got around to watching the pilot for Fox's "Vanished" (9 p.m., Fox) over the weekend. Those who say good things come to those who wait obviously never saw the "Vanished" pilot.

The wife (Joanne Kelly) of a Georgia senator (John Allen Nelson of "24") is kidnapped at a reception in her honor. Two FBI agents assigned the case (Gale Harold, Ming Na of "ER") quickly discover that there is more here than meets the eye. What is supposed to unfold over the rest of the season is an overly complicated, conspiracy driven plot that will lead the agents all over the place.

"Vanished" didn't work for me on a lot of levels. One, the dialogue is terrible. Dialogue is one of those things a writer needs to get right, or else it destroys the credibility of what you are watching. It isn't easy to do, and sadly most writers end up with dialogue closer to "Vanished" than to the best of Aaron Sorkin or Joss Whedon.

Two, after "24" and "Prison Break," two Fox shows that have a lot of flaws but still do the season-long serial pretty well, Fox appears to have gone to the well once to often. Putting "Vanished" on after "PB" is just going to make it suffer by comparison.

Three, as my brother pointed out, no one actually speaks with a Georgia accent, a problem for a show set in Atlanta. (Not to mention the producers seem to lack knowledge of Atlanta geography). Actually, I was less upset about this than my brother, because there is nothing more grating to my ears than a fake Southern accent. I'd rather the actors not try at all, which is what they seem to do here.

Finally, the biggest problem with "Vanished" is that NBC is running a similarly themed show, "Kidnapped," this seasons. "Kidnapped," which I reviewed last week, follows the season-long kidnapping of a teenager son of a very wealthy Manhattan couple and is a much better show. My worry is that with "Vanished" airing first, it will turn people off to "Kidnapped." My advice is to stick with "Kidnapped" this season and hope NBC doesn't yank it before we have a chance to see it resolved.

MONDAY'S BEST BETS: "Prison Break" (8 p.m., Fox) started with a literal bang last week, killing off a major character — Veronica (Robin Tunney) — and adding William Fichtner as an FBI agent in charge of chasing down the escapees. Talk about your two-for-one deals; not only do you get rid of the show's most grating character, you add on potentially really cool character by giving Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller) a true foil. Tonight, Michael and Lincoln (Dominic Purcell) try to free Lincoln's son L.J. (Marshall Allman) from incarceration.

And don't forget the coolest show on TV, "Life on Mars" (10 p.m., BBC-America).

The Emmys, Part II

Yesterday, I ranted about the Emmy voters' lack of a clue in regards to picking the nominees. (My punishment is that every single member of the Academy must right an apology letter to Edie Falco.)

Today, I pick the winners, tell you who should win, and which deserving actors should have won if I ruled the universe. If you've ever read my Oscar picks in The Telegraph's print edition, you know I probably won't be very accurate. You can catch the Emmys on NBC Sunday at 8 p.m. It's hosted by Conan O'Brien, which will be more worth watching than the actual awards.

The nominees:

Drama Series: "Grey's Anatomy," ABC; "House," Fox; "The Sopranos," HBO; "24," Fox; "The West Wing," NBC.

What will win: "Grey's." The voters want to show how hip they are.
What should win: From this list, "The Sopranos." Though the finale was pretty mediocre, the season as a whole was top-notch, thanks to its supremely talented cast.
TV Guy's Pick: "The Shield," FX. No show was more edge-of-your-seat, and the acting between star Michael Chiklis and new addition Forest Whitaker was sensational, not to mention one of the best all-around casts on TV. Honorable mention to "Lost," "Rescue Me" and "Battlestar Galactica."

Comedy Series: "Arrested Development," Fox; "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; "The Office," NBC; "Scrubs," NBC; "Two and a Half Men," CBS.

What will win/what should win/TV Guy's pick: "The Office." Since I don't know how "Two and a Half Men" could even be nominated, I suppose it could be a dark horse. I have a lot of love for "AD," "Curb" and especially "Scrubs," but "The Office" has truly moved out of the shadow of the original British series and come into its own.

Variety, Music or Comedy Series: "The Colbert Report," Comedy Central; "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart," Comedy Central; "Late Night With Conan O'Brien," NBC; "Late Show With David Letterman," CBS; "Real Time With Bill Maher," HBO.

What will win/should win: "Colbert." Voters need an excuse not to keep voting for "The Daily Show" every year, and this gives them one.

Actor, Drama Series: Christopher Meloni, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," NBC; Denis Leary, "Rescue Me," FX Network; Peter Krause, "Six Feet Under," HBO; Kiefer Sutherland, "24," Fox; Martin Sheen, "The West Wing," NBC.

Who will win: Sutherland. Why people think "24" is great TV is beyond me, but Sutherland does a good job and doesn't have a lot of competition. There's also a feeling that he's due.
Who should win: Leary. Not only does he star in "Rescue Me," he also writes it. He has truly created one of the most complex characters on TV.
TV Guy's pick: Where is James Gandolfini? Michael Chiklis? How does Christopher Meloni crack this lineup? The pick here is Hugh Laurie. The other actors have great supporting casts that help make those shows. But Laurie, who won the Golden Globe, is virtually the entire show. Though the rest of the cast of "House" is excellent, the show revolves around the title character. The always-brilliant Laurie easily meets the challenge.

Actress, Drama Series: Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer," TNT; Geena Davis, "Commander in Chief," ABC; Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," NBC; Frances Conroy, "Six Feet Under," HBO; Allison Janney, "The West Wing," NBC.

Who should win: Sedgwick. Again, the field she's going against isn't what it should be, but she's done a good job.
Who will win: Sedgwick, though Emmy favorite Janney could get a lot of love since this is her last hurrah.
TV Guy's pick: Mary McDonnell, "Battlestar Galactica." Any actress who makes me even consider not giving this Emmy automatically to "The Sopranos" Edie Falco really must be doing something right. The finals two or three episodes of "BSG," in which McDonnell's President Roslin conspires to fix the election, contained just a terrifically layered performance. Another notable absentee on this list is Kristin Bell of "Veronica Mars."

Supporting Actor, Drama Series: William Shatner, "Boston Legal," ABC; Oliver Platt, "Huff," Showtime; Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos," HBO; Gregory Itzin, "24," Fox; Alan Alda, "The West Wing," NBC.

Who will win: Itzin. I don't have a problem with this, though I really don't like "24."
Who should win: Alda. I am tempted to cast a write-in ballot for Sen. Arnold Vinick for the real election in 2008. (Emmy trivia: Alda is the only person to win lead acting, writing and directing Emmys, all for "MASH.")
TV Guy's Pick: There are way too many people left off this list, including pretty much every cast member of "Lost." I came up with about 20 names I would have put in this category ahead of everybody but Alda. The absolute best, however, was Forest Whitaker of "The Shield." I don't even have an adjective that will do him justice.

Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Candice Bergen, "Boston Legal," ABC; Sandra Oh, "Grey's Anatomy," ABC; Chandra Wilson, "Grey's Anatomy," ABC; Blythe Danner, "Huff," Showtime; Jean Smart, "24," Fox.

Who will win: Bergen. Emmy voters are incapable of not voting for Candice Bergen. I think it's an Emmy by-law.
Who should win: Smart. It was hard not to root for her First Lady. Oh and Wilson will cancel each other out.
TV Guy's Pick: CCH Pounder of "The Shield," Tricia Helfer of "Battlestar Galactica" or Andrea Roth of "Rescue Me" were all worthy of being on this list, to name but a few.

Actor, Comedy Series: Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; Kevin James, "The King of Queens," CBS; Tony Shalhoub, "Monk," USA; Steve Carell, "The Office," NBC; Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Men," CBS.

Who will win/should win/TV Guy's pick: Carell. Not only is he one of the biggest comedy stars around, but he's note-perfect as the clueless Michael Scott. I would have loved to have seen a nom for "Scrubs'" Zach Braff instead of Sheen, though.

Actress, Comedy Series: Lisa Kudrow, "The Comeback," HBO; Jane Kaczmarek, "Malcolm in the Middle," Fox; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "The New Adventures of Old Christine," CBS; Stockard Channing, "Out of Practice," CBS; Debra Messing, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Who will win: Messing. Emmy voters will want to give "Will & Grace" a big sendoff. Kudrow may score an upset.
Who should win: Louis-Dreyfus, who has finally broken the "Seinfeld" curse, or Kaczmarek, for her years of great work.
TV Guy's pick: Marcia Cross, "Desperate Housewives." Though "DH" had a down year, Cross was and always is a marvel and rose above the mediocre writing. It's hard to imagine any other actress being able to make Bree hilarious, sympathetic and unique all at the same time and not have her appear two-dimensional.

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Will Arnett, "Arrested Development," Fox; Jeremy Piven, "Entourage," HBO; Bryan Cranston, "Malcolm in the Middle," Fox; Jon Cryer, "Two and a Half Men," CBS; Sean Hayes, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Who will win: Hayes. See above for the whole "W&G" thing. Piven may pull an upset here, however.
Who should win: Piven, who always steals every scene in pretty much any production he's in.
TV Guy's pick: If I ruled the universe, not only would everybody be better off, but Cranston would finally get his long, long overdue Emmy. And John C. McGinley of "Scrubs" and Rainn Wilson of "The Office" would have gotten nominations.

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Cheryl Hines, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; Alfre Woodard, "Desperate Housewives," ABC; Jaime Pressly, "My Name Is Earl," ABC; Elizabeth Perkins, "Weeds," Showtime; Megan Mullally, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Who will win: Mullally. See above. Because of the cluelessness of Emmy voters, the horribly-misused Woodard may get the win.
Who should win: Pressly.
TV Guy's pick: The always-hilarious Allyson Hannigan on "How I Met Your Mother." Honorable mention to Jenna Fischer of "The Office" and both Sarah Chalke and Judy Reyes of "Scrubs." (By the way, I think Woodard is one of the five best actresses in Hollywood, but the "DH" writers totally failed to live up to her standards. Though there are plenty of great examples of her brilliance, catch the episode of "Homicide: Life on the Streets" in which Woodard guest-starred. The scene between her and Andre Braugher's Pembleton in the interview room should be required viewing in acting classes.)

Agree? Disagree? Post a comment and let me know.

The Emmys, Part I

I come to bury the Emmy awards, not to praise them.

I'd long given up hope that the quirky little shows of high quality that I so enjoyed were not going to be honored. I had come to expect that certain shows would be nominated ad infinitum even though they had moved long past their prime.

But in the past, the Emmys managed to get a few things right. Not this year.

This year, the voting was supposed to be changed; "blue-ribbon" panels were created to examine (supposedly) those shows like "Veronica Mars" that were somewhat off the radar but still of high quality. So what happened?

Not only did many of those critically acclaimed yet ratings challenged shows NOT get any more love from the voters, but good shows and actors that routinely got deserved Emmy nominations got left off.

Here are a few examples: No love for "Lost," which racked up Emmy noms last year; no nomination for the brilliant Hugh Laurie, who won the Golden Globe for best actor and whose show, "House," is nominated for Best Drama. There is no "House" without Laurie's performance every week.

"The Sopranos" gets a best drama nom but all of its key cast members such as James Gandolfini and Edie Falco are ignored, which is utter nonsense.

Meanwhile, the best the "blue-ribbon" committees could come up with are a long list of nominations for the pedestrian "Law & Order: SVU" and the mediocre "Two and a half Men." Seriously. And those changes that were designed to leave shows that had gone stale off the noms list? Interestingly, everyone except Eric McCormack on "Will & Grace" were nominated once again in the comedy categories, yet the show itself wasn't nominated for Best Comedy. There's just no rhyme or reason to these choices.

So far, the biggest controversy has surrounded Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie. Ellen Burstyn is nominated for appearing (literally) 30 seconds in the movie "Mrs. Harris." Now, don't get me wrong, Burstyn is one of the great American actresses, so this isn't a knock on her. Rather, it's proof of how little these nominating committees pay attention to their jobs. Burstyn, who had all of two lines in a flashback sequence, is going against Kelly McDonald from "The Girl in the Cafe." McDonald was actual girl in the cafe; she's in the bulk of the scenes and gets the only significant screen time of any actress in the movie. Yet she is listed as a supporting actress, not a lead.

The Emmys, if you bother to watch them, are coming on Sunday night. Me, I'll stick to the Golden Globes.

COMING FRIDAY: TV Guy makes his Emmy predictions, and tells you which deserving talents were left out completely.

More Previews

The TV Guy managed to get ahold of couple of advance screeners for a pair of new Fox shows (as well as the season premieres of two returning shows, to be reviewed next week) and happily reports that there are worse ways of spending a couple of hours.

"Justice" mixes elements of two of the best (if short-lived) legal dramas of the past few years, ABC's "Murder One" and Fox's "The Jury." The viewer follows the high-profile law firm headed by Ron Trott ("Alias'" Victor Garber) and his team of very good-looking, very sharp junior attorneys (Kerr Smith, Eamonn Walker, Rebecca Mader) as they tackle the cases that draw the biggest media attention.

What makes "Justice" different is that it examines all aspects of the trial, such as media spin and jury selection. After the verdict is rendered, the viewer is shown the crime and whether or not the verdict was correct.

"Justice" is very stylish and entertaining, and its views on how cases are really tried in the media before they ever reach the courtroom are both sharp and biting. Katherine La Nasa, as a Nancy Grace/Greta Van Susteran-style TV commentator, is particularly good.

The other pilot, "Standoff," doesn't disappoint either. The show follows the adventures of two FBI negotiators (Ron Livingston, Rosemary DeWitt) and the crises they deal with, which isn't helped by the fact they are sleeping together. The always-terrific Livingston and the lovely DeWitt show some great chemistry early on, and with Gina Torres as the boss of the unit, I have high hopes for this show. It should fit in well with "Bones," which precedes it on Wednesday nights.

TV NEWS: Fans of the USA sci-fi show "The 4400" will be pleased to hear that it was renewed for another season on Wednesday.

Fans of "Stargate SG-1," however, are out of luck after this season ends. "SG-1" was the longest-running U.S. made sci-fi show ever. I never got into it, though I did check it out last year when Ben Browder and Claudia Black of "Farscape" joined the "SG-1" cast. There was too much mythos, however, for me to really enjoy it. "SG-1's" spinoff, "Stargate: Atlantis" was renewed for a fourth year.

The BBC announced Wednesday that a "Doctor Who" spinoff featuring Billie Piper was scrapped. Plans for the spinoff featuring the Capt. Jack character, however, are still a go.

RECAP: There was only one thing that ticked me off about last night's "Rescue Me" -- when it was over, it meant there was only one episode left for this season. The world that Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary) lives in -- completely insane to the rest of us, normal if you are a Gavin -- was illustrated with perfection last night when his nutty sister Maggie (Tatum O'Neal) decided to hold her wedding moments after they buried their brother, Johnny (Dean Winters), who was shot to death the week before.

In the season finale, Tommy must decide whether to remain with the FDNY or retire, and choose between his equally-screwy ex-wife Janet (Andrea Roth), who is either carrying his baby or Johnny's, or go off with his screwy cousin's widow Sheila (Callie Thorne).

Drowning in the River

So, last Friday I am playing poker at Jocks & Jills, as I am wont to do. With virtually no chips left, I go all-in with a Queen-Five offsuit. The board flops Queen-Queen-Jack, so at this point I am in great shape to quadruple up my chips.

An Ace comes out on the turn, and two of the other players in the hand get out. So the other guy in the pot and I turn over our cards; he's got wired Kings. At this point, with one card left to turn, there's an 83 percent chance I will win. He can only win with a 10 or a King, and with just two Kings left in the deck at best, there's only a 6 percent chance he will draw one of them.

I never had a a chance. King.

It's not the worst beat I've ever had, just the most recent bad one.

I bring up this anecdote because the World Series of Poker's Main Event (8 p.m. ESPN) begins tonight and will provide the Worldwide Sports Leader with many, many hours of programming. For whatever reason, poker - especially Texas Hold 'Em - has become a phenomenal success on TV. You can't really go through the channels and not find it being played somewhere. My theory behind the success is that Hold 'Em is a relatively easy game to understand, that both men and women play it, and that you can watch it on TV and follow the strategy of the players relatively easily. The TV monitor shows the players' cards, so it's easy to put yourself in a player's shoes and guess how you would play a certain situation as opposed to the player on TV.

ESPN has tried hard to duplicate poker's success, airing darts and dominos among other things, but they haven't found an audience. You can't very well put yourself in a darts player's place ("Gee, I would have thrown that last dart a little to the left," just doesn't work at home) and no one I've met plays dominos.

I suppose ESPN might try to move a step up from games played in bars and air something along the lines of chess, but it will probably be too cerebral for the average viewer. Plus, chess matches go on for days. Plus, it's hard to imagine Norman Chad commentating on chess ("Wow, Spassky moved his rook instead of his bishop. That's just plain bad luck for Hellmuth." Just doesn't work.)

With a record 8,900-plus in this year's Poker main event and $12 million in prize money to give away, it's a phenomenon that's not going away for a long time.

TUESDAY'S BEST BET: The penultimate episode of "Rescue Me" (10 p.m. FX) picks up with Tommy's brother Johnny getting shot and the Chief suffering a heart attack. Tuesday's best bet will always be "Rescue Me." Most of the time, it will be "Rescue Me" re-runs when the season ends. So, when you log in next week, don't expect to see anything different.

Return of the Serials

My examination of the pilot for the new NBC drama "Kidnapped" also looks at a growing trend on TV this season.

"Kidnapped" follows the course of an investigation in the abduction of a boy, Leopold (Will Denton), the son of the wealthy Cains (Timothy Hutton, Dana Delany) over an entire season. With the kidnapper warning no police, the Cains hire a professional retriever, Knapp (Jeremy Sisto). The FBI, led by Delroy Lindo and Linus Roache, get wind of the case and get involved as well.

"Kidnapped" is a solid show, probably not the most anticipated show of the season, but one worth checking out.

The only risk in doing so, however, is that given its serialized form, viewers can find themselves watching "Kidnapped" and not finding out its resolution should the show get canceled or not renewed because of weak ratings.

More and more, networks are going after serialized dramas after the success of "Lost," "Desperate Housewives" and "24." While I think it leads to more stylized storytelling than most typical dramas, it's also very difficult to pick up should you not catch the series from the beginning.

Worse, you may never see the end. NBC ran a springtime series, "Heist" last season that wasn't renewed and ended with a cliffhanger, as did the ABC thriller, "Invasion." Even worse, some shows such as Fox's "Reunion" and CBS' "Threshold" were canceled in midseason, so fans of those shows didn't even get to see the mysteries play out.

With so many serialized dramas on the fall schedule, be wary of which ones you pick out -- you may be left hanging high and dry by a network suit. "Kidnapped," however, may be worth a roll of the dice.

TONIGHT'S BEST BET: Speaking of successful serialized dramas, "Prison Break" kicks off its second season tonight (8 p.m., Fox). We last left Michael Scofield and his crew running out in a field with half the state police right behind them. It will be interesting to see how the show fares without two actors returning to key roles — the Vice President (Patricia Wettig) and her brother, supposed murder victim Terence Steadman (John Billingsley). Both actors are heading to new series (Wettig to "Brothers and Sisters," Billingsley to "The Nine.") Both characters were relatively small, but pivotal to the conspiracy that drives the show.

Studio 60

I have to say that "Studio 60" is probably the show I've been anticipating the most since I heard about it. Created by Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme ("The West Wing"), it boasts one of the most talented casts on television with Bradley Whitford, Matthew Perry, Amanda Peet, Tim Busfield, Steven Weber and D.L. Hughley. In fact, my only worry was that "Studio 60" wouldn't meet the high expectations I had for it.

It didn't; it surpassed them.

"Studio 60" takes place on a "Saturday Night Live" style show. When the show's producer, Judd Hirsch has a Peter Finch-styled breakdown on live TV — basically, he is mad as hell and won't take it anymore after one of his sketches is pulled by the network — the new network president Jordan McDeere (Peet) scrambles into damage control, re-hiring the show's original creators Matt (Perry) and Danny (Whitford). Both of them are reluctant to return to the show, especially since Matt has written a new movie that Danny is set to direct and both were fired years earlier by the head of the network (Weber). Worse, Matt used to date Studio 60's female lead, Harriet (Sarah Paulson).

Sorkin, who hasn't written for television in three years since leaving the "West Wing," is at his absolute best here. The dialogue is smart and snappy, truly reminiscent of Wing and "Sports Night." The relationship between Matt and Danny is patterned after the relationship between Sorkin and Schlamme, and Sorkin's views on his life and TV come through very clearly through "Studio 60."

My only slight criticism is the title cards used to introduce the scenes involving certain characters, similar to the late, lamented NBC series "Boomtown." It struck me as a tad unnecessary and gimmicky, and hopefully won't be around after the pilot. But pointing out this one little thing is like dating a supermodel and complaining you don't like her shoes; it's easily overcome.

SUNDAY'S BEST BET: Comedy Central rolls out the Friar's Club Roast of William Shatner tonight at 10 p.m. Sometimes, these roasts are classic, such as the one done for Jerry Stiller a few years ago (watching Jerry dance with Sandra Bernhard while she sang him Heart's "Magic Man" was truly priceless). Other times, these roasts fall flat.

But Shatner, who constantly parodies himself and re-invents himself, should provide the roasters with plenty of material. Among the roasters is Kevin Pollak, who does one of the best Shatner-as-Capt. Kirk impressions out there.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen

DVD PICK OF THE WEEK: "Rome: The Complete First Season"

HBO's lavish production about the rise and fall of Julius Caesar is worth checking out from a dramatic standpoint, though I haven't seen the DVD and can't tell you about the various featurettes.

Much of the story is told from the point of view of two officers in the Roman Army, who find themselves mixed in situations with Rome's key movers and shakers, including Caesar (Ciaran Hinds). "Rome" traces Caesar's rise to power, and the first season ends with his assasination. With graphic displays of sex and violence, "Rome" isn't for the kids, but continues HBO's long-standing trend of outstanding television.

SCENES FROM OUR NEXT EPISODE: Coming up next week, TV Guy reviews two of the most anticipated pilots of the year, sings the praises of poker on TV, and tells you why the Emmys got it more wrong this year than in any other year — which is saying a lot. Don't forget, the new TV season kicks off Monday with the return of "Prison Break" (Fox, Monday, 8 p.m.)

Heroes And Zeros

When I first heard that "Blade" was being remade into a TV series, I had a pretty lukewarm reaction to it.

I wasn't a huge fan of the comics and moderately enjoyed the first two movies (I have yet to see the third). I was worried it would be either a mindless action-fest, or a darker "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" ripoff.

Happily, "Blade" (Wednesdays, 10 p.m., Spike-TV) hasn't been either and is something of a pleasant surprise. The series takes place in modern Detroit, where we focus on Blade's (Kirk "Sticky" Jones, doing a decent job in taking over for Wesley Snipes) quest to destroy vampires. Rather than just focusing on Blade's hunting, which would get dull real quick, the series spends a good deal of time delving into the world of vampires, centering on the elegant villain Marcus Van Sciver, who has presented a public persona of rebuilding Detroit while secretly plotting the downfall of the ancient, pure-blood vampires.

The series also spends a good chunk of time looking at Blade in his formative years and how he got to where he is today. Co-created by movie helmer David S. Goyer, "Blade" might be worth a look.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is "Who Wants To Be A Superhero?" which airs again tonight on Sci-Fi (9 p.m.) Think "The Apprentice" with Marvel Comics founder Stan Lee in the Donald Trump role, and a mentally deficient, powerless X-Men in the contestant roles, and you have a basic idea of what it's all about.

That said, it's also one of the funniest (largely unintentionally) hours on TV as we see the would-be heroes constantly fail at trumped up challenges designed to test whether they have a hero's attributes. (Common sense is one they all seem to lack for a start).

The contestants auditioned in home-made costumes and what-were-they-thinking personas — Fat Momma, Cell Phone Girl, etc. Fans of the animated series "The Tick" may remember the classic episode when The Tick and Arthur teach a Superhero 101 class with equally lame superhero concepts.

TONIGHT'S BEST BET: I didn't catch "The Ron Clark Story" when it aired Sunday on TNT, but it has gotten a lot of positive buzz and had very strong ratings. It is being rerun twice tonight on TNT, at 9 p.m. and 11 p.m.

Also, tonight is the season-finale of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," one of TV's funniest shows (FX, 10 p.m.).

TV On The Internet

I've come to sing the praises of YouTube, a Web site devoted to bringing the unusual and little-seen to the masses.

I first got turned onto the site last month, when my brother forwarded me a link to an unaired pilot by "Scrubs" creator Bill Lawrence called "Nobody's Watching." It's similar in its theme and look to the old "It's Garry Shandling's Show" (everyone sing along: This is the theme to Garry's show, the opening theme to Garry's show, this is the music that you hear as you watch the credits, we're almost halfway finished, how do you like it so far, this is the theme to Garry Shandling's Show.... and so on)

"Nobody's Watching" got downloaded so many times that there are reports that the original pilot, which was never picked up, may get a second look by the networks. It involves two slacker guys who get offered their own "reality" pilot by an evil network executive; the show totally demolishes the hypothetical fourth wall and brings the studio audience into the act. It's well worth a download if you have a half hour.

I bring up YouTube because "Rescue Me" stars Denis Leary and Lenny Clarke were on NESN in New England, spending an inning in the broadcast booth with the Boston Red Sox announcers. Here is the link to their exchange about Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis, one of the funniest things I've heard all year. (You may have heard the audio to this on "Mike and Mike in the Morning" on ESPN Radio.)

****EDIT****: NESN made YouTube pull the clip off its Web site, evidently because it dislikes free publicity. I've found the audio file of the clip here — http://media.odeo.com/files/7/9/0/731790.mp3. It's rather lengthy; if you fast-forward to about three-quarters of the way through the file, you'll get to the Youkilis/Mel Gibson bit.

(Speaking of which, "Rescue Me" was phenomenal again last night, cementing its status as TV's best show. I'd go into a discussion about it, but I don't want to give away spoilers to people who may not have seen it yet.)

OTHER NEWS: RIP Bruno Kirby. He was a phenomenal talent who always made great movies ("When Harry Met Sally," "City Slickers," "The Freshman") better with his presence. Though he was known more for his films than TV appearances, his guest-starring bit on "Homicide: Life on the Streets" as a small-time crook who attempts to seek revenge on Andre Braugher's Det. Pembleton was the highlight of that season.

As We Like It

When I started this blog, I didn't realize that the bulk of the posts would be devoted to programming on BBC-America. Yet, here we go again.

Modernized Shakespeare is hardly a new concept — everything from "West Side Story" ("Romeo & Juliet) to Akira Kurasawa's masterpiece "Ran" ("King Lear") have been re-imagined Bard. (Of course, the single greatest re-invention remains the MacKenzie Brothers' "Strange Brew" for "Hamlet." Try arguing that one, hosers!)

Even if the idea isn't original, the presentation of "Shakespeare on TV" (BBC-America, Sunday, 7 p.m.) certainly has been, where the various Shakespearian plots are re-told in modern settings. First up was "As You Like It" set in the world of a TV morning news program, starring Damian Lewis ("Band of Brothers"). This past Sunday was "Macbeth" set in a restaurant, though I haven't had a chance to catch it yet on my VCR because The Telegraph insists I work the early Tuesday morning shift. Coming up this week is "A Midsummer Night's Dream."

The dialogue, costumes and settings are all modern, so if you had difficulty with Shakespeare in school, you won't have that problem here, and if you are in school studying it, these modernized takes may help you get the gist of it all a bit better.

TUESDAY'S BEST BET: Fox is re-running a two-parter on "House" from 8-10 p.m. One of the best shows on TV, the fact that Hugh Laurie was passed over for an Emmy nomination this year was complete idiocy and will be a key part of a lengthy posting here in the near future over what a joke most of the nominations were.

Treasure Hunters: Not So Amazing

Tonight is the next-to-last episode of NBC's "Treasure Hunters," a mix of "The Amazing Race" meets "The Da Vinci Code."

For a series that had a lot of promise in the premise, it's fallen short of any expectations I've had for it. For one thing, none of these teams came up with much of a personality. (Personally, I was rooting for the Miss USAs, but they got knocked out).

Basically, the show involves teams of three solving puzzles which leads them to key clues that eventually lead to a great treasure. The ideas involved are reminiscent of the movie "National Treasure" which had our founding fathers hiding clues to treasure in key items like the Declaration of Independence.

"The Amazing Race" is a much superior show. Though there is a bit of a sameness to each episode of each season, the producers do a good job of finding teams with some personality, and you do find yourself rooting for or against specific teams. With a couple of exceptions, karma has done a good job picking the right Race winners in the past.

"The Amazing Race" has won multiple Emmys and has become the standard for reality game shows. It will be interesting to see if "Treasure Hunters" sticks around as long.

BEST BET: If for some reason you aren't catching TV's coolest show, "Life on Mars" (BBC-America, 10 p.m.), you can catch a couple of re-runs of TV's suavest show, "Hustle" (incidentally made by the same producers) starting at 8 p.m. on AMC. This wonderful cast, led by Robert Vaughn and Adrian Lester ("Primary Colors") routinely pulls off the most absurd capers imaginable, all with panache and a wink. After the two episodes of "Hustle," AMC is appropriately running "The Sting."

CW in Macon

Fans of shows like "Smallville," "Veronica Mars" and "Everybody Hates Chris" that were worried about where to view those programs on the new network, the CW, can rest easy.

Cox Communications announced that the CW — a merger of Warner Bros.' WB and CBS/Paramount's UPN — will debut at 12:01 a.m. on Sept. 18 on WBMN Channel 3, the WB's former home. WGNM, which broadcast UPN in Macon, had already been planning to switch to religious-only programming when the UPN contract ran out in September.

A couple of week's ago, The WB announced it was celebrating the end of its run by re-airing the pilots of some of its most popular series.

Psych-ed Out

One of the most popular new shows of the summer is USA's "Psych," which airs as a companion show for its hit "Monk."

I watch "Psych," but I don't really enjoy it as much as other people seem to. For me, the premise is unsustainable.

Shawn Spencer (James Roday) has keen powers of observation that can solve crimes. Rather than use them in a conventional sense, he observes things, then pretends to have a psychic premonition in order to tip off the cops.

As a movie, a one-time thing, it's got some promise, but week after week, the idea will probably get pretty tired pretty quickly. For one thing, most of the plots rely on pretty much every other character besides Shawn to be dumber than average, especially the cops. For another, every mystery hinges on a visual clue that only Shawn seems to be able to see and put together, or the eclectic interests of Shawn's partner Gus (Dule Hill). How many spelling bee/Civil War/safecracking pharmacy reps with a keen sense of smell do you know?

The saving grace of the show is the chemistry between Roday and Hill, but it's not enough. But, as my brother pointed out, you may as well stick with it and enjoy the ride until it's over.

TV TIDBITS: Sci-Fi announced this week it will air a one-hour retrospective wrapping up the events of the first two seasons of "Battlestar Galactica." The special will serve as a primer for those who have heard about this phenomenal series but haven't caught it yet, and a reminder to folks who are watching it that the new season is set for October. "BSG" is one of the best shows on TV, much better than the rather cheesy 1979 version, so check it out.

Sci-Fi also announced the second series of "Doctor Who" will begin Sept. 29 with the special "The Christmas Invasion," which introduces David Tennant into the title role.

Since I mentioned "The Prisoner" on Wednesday, it seems appropriate to mention that Chris Nolan ("Batman Begins") has signed on to direct the remake. There simply couldn't be a better choice. Filming will begin once Nolan finishes the Batman sequel.

A Leap Across The Pond

As I noted in Monday's posting, this is a word about British TV programs that are remade into U.S. shows.

Most of the time, it just doesn't work. For every "Sanford & Son" ("Steptoe & Son" in the U.K.) that enjoys its share of success among the Yanks, you get many more abject failures, a' la "Coupling" and "Cracker."

"Cracker," for me, was the worst. It's perhaps my all-time favorite TV show from any country, and Robbie Coltrane's tour-de-force performance as Fitz, the lead character, is simply a marvel to behold. I gave the U.S. version, starring the late Robert Pastorelli, one chance. After watching that single episode, I was resolved to never, ever watch a re-imagined U.K. show made by a U.S. production company again. I'm already dreading the David Kelley remake of "Life on Mars," the best show this summer. It can be seen in its good form on Mondays on BBC America.

Happily, one of the few exceptions proving the rule airs on Thursdays. Some don't like the U.S. version of "The Office," but I think it's not only the best sitcom on TV (which is saying something since the equally brilliant "Scrubs" runs on the same network), but it's also one of the few U.S. versions to equal the original.

The U.S. version started off a bit slowly when it first aired, trying to stick a bit too closely to creator Ricky Gervais' U.K. version. But the U.S. writers started to flesh out the supporting characters more and develop their own storylines, creating a similar, yet unique, show of its own. Coupled with star Steve Carell's rise to superstardom following "The 40-year-old Virgin" last summer, the show has really moved into its own.

Tonight's rerun, in which office annoyance Dwight (Rainn Wilson) is honored as salesman of the year and forced to give a speech despite his fear of public speaking, contains probably the single-funniest scene broadcast on the airwaves this year when he finally does give the speech.

But perhaps what makes "The Office" truly great is that we really end up caring about the characters. Jim and Pam create the best unrequited couple on TV. I think Wilson deserved an Emmy nomination this year, and even the minor characters who may only get a few lines per episode -- Phyllis, Stanley, et. al. -- are note-perfect.

PICK OF THE NIGHT: After you've hopefully caught "The Office" at 8:30 p.m., hopefully you will flip to FX at 10 p.m. for "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." With the exception of "Curb Your Enthusiasm," this is the closest to having "Seinfeld" back on the air since it left.

If you like how "South Park" pushes the envelope for bad taste, you will love "Sunny." It's a riot.

DVD Picks: Breaking Out

My first two DVD picks for this blog are quasi-related, even though they involve series that debuted nearly 40 years apart.

The first season of "Prison Break" has just hit the shelves. If you've heard about this series but didn't catch it the first time around, now is the time to pick up the DVD since Season 2 is starting Aug. 21.

"Prison Break" tells the story of Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller), an engineer whose half-brother Lincoln Burrows (Dominic Purcell) is framed for the murder of the vice-president's brother. Michael, whose engineering company did renovations to Lincoln's prison, conceives of an elaborate plot to get incarcerated there in order to save Lincoln from the electric chair. Things do not go as planned for Michael, who constantly has to adjust his plan in order for them and a few other prisoners to make good their escape.

Much like Fox's hit, "24," "Prison Break" is heavy on the action and excitement, not to mention conspiracy theories. The series also requires a complete suspension of disbelief, with characters committing almost ludicrous actions in order to advance the plot. "Prison Break" is at its best when focusing on Michael and the other characters in the prison; the surrounding action, centering on Lincoln's lawyer ex-girlfriend Veronica (Robin Tunney), who is trying to free him legally, is where the plot usually suffers.

Despite the flaws, "Prison Break" is worth your time.

The other DVD release actually took place last week. "The Prisoner," a British thriller that ran in the 1960s, was one of the most brilliant, controversial and original series ever conceived. A new boxed set of all 17 episodes (plus an alternate version of one of the episodes, "The Chimes of Big Ben") came out last week. It's a little pricey, but shopping around online might net a bargain, particularly if you want to get your favorite TV critic a gift for the holidays. (hint, hint)

A spy (Patrick McGoohan) angrily quits his job. As he packs his bags to leave London, he is gassed and taken to a strange village that seems to be no place. No one there has a name, only a number. The spy is No. 6; the various men and women who run the Village over the course of the series are No. 2. Who is No. 1? That's one of the mysteries for No. 6 to solve as he constantly tries to escape before the people running the Village can figure out why he tried to resign his position.

"The Prisoner" has held up remarkably well over the decades. The unique fashions and the Village itself don't limit themselves to 1960s styles; with the exception of the computers of the time, it still looks great.

"The Prisoner" isn't for everyone. People who are fans of "Lost" and its ilk, shows where weird things happen and fans debate deeper, hidden meanings in the plot and character actions, will be love "The Prisoner." People who want simple explanations and don't like exercising their minds will not.

Hot Summer Fare

There simply isn't a better program on TV right now that FX's "Rescue Me."

The story of post-9/11 firefighters and their screwed up lives is about as raw television as you will find. This season has raised the benchmark for what already was a great show, filling it with humor, tragedy and some moments that were so shocking that it created a rift between fans over what was truly over the line in what you can show.

Earlier this season, the show's protagonist, Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary) sexually forces himself on his ex-wife, who at first fights him off, then seems to enjoy the moment. Many fans who watched the scene were immediately turned off to the program, saying Tommy had gone too far and raped his wife. Leary and other cast members, however, has defended the episode over the past few weeks, saying it illustrated the messed-up relationship between Tommy and his ex-wife, Janet (Andrea Roth). Certainly, a measure of TV karma was unleashed upon Tommy, who was drugged and seduced by his sometimes-girlfriend Sheila (Callie Thorne), who was attempting to get pregnant. Sheila convinced Tommy, a recovering alcoholic, that he had fallen off the wagon and wrecked his apartment.

Tonight, Tommy confronts Janet about her being pregnant, possibly with his child, possibly with his brother's. Janet has continued to have encounters with Tommy while living with his brother, Johnny (Dean Winter). (Did I mention how screwed up these characters are?)

That really just scratches the surface of what is going on with the show, since we get an entire firehouse full of characters with plenty of stuff going on with their lives as well — Jerry, whose wife is suffering from Alzheimer's; Kenny, who was conned out of his life's savings and is going through a mid-life crisis; Mike, who is struggling with whether or not he is gay; Franco, whose daughter has been kidnapped by a wealthy older woman; and Sean, perhaps the funniest character on airwaves, who is about to marry Tommy's lunatic sister, Maggie.

With Rescue Me's season winding down, you may want to wait for the DVD to catch up on everything. Either way, it's well worth your time to catch this show.

No summertime blues

It used to be that summer was nothing but re-runs or test balloons for shows that network executives had paid for but didn't have much faith in.

Then cable TV suddenly grew in both popularity and quality, and we the viewers have been the better for it. I'll try to highlight some of the summer fare you may have been enjoying, or have been missing and may want to give a chance.

Since this is a Monday, we'll go with what is the most interesting and cool show of the summer, maybe of the season. "Life on Mars," inspired by the David Bowie song, airs on BBC-America at 10 p.m. It tells the story of Det. Chief Inspector Sam Tyler (John Simm), a top cop in 2006. While investigating a serial killing in which his girlfriend is one of the victims, Sam is hit by a car. When he wakes up, it's 1973.

Has Sam gone crazy? Is he in a coma? Or has he actually somehow traveled through time? It's quite the puzzle for Sam, who has to adjust to quite a difference in police methods, especially since he's been reduced in rank to Det. Inspector. His boss, DCI Hunt (Philip Glenister), has seen one too many Clint Eastwood movies, and it shows when it comes to interrogating a suspect.

In addition to the cool set-up, Life on Mars features some of the best music of that area -- the Who, Pink Floyd, Paul McCartney -- into each episode. The series is co-created by the same people who brought you "MI-5" and "Hustle," two of the best shows on TV.

My advice is to watch the British version. Producer David Kelley ("Picket Fences," "Ally McBeal," "Boston Legal") has bought the U.S. rights and plans to re-do it for American television. It'll suck -- not only because most of Kelley's other shows are crappy and overrated, but also because most British shows lose something in the translation to American TV. I'll talk more about it on Thursday, when I point out one of the exceptions to this rule.

Welcome to The Idiot Box

This will, I hope, be the site for much discussion on what Middle Georgians are watching (or, rather, what I tell them they should be watching).

I could go on and on about my tastes regarding TV, but you'll get the picture over time. Let's call it eclectic.

So, feel free to jump in and post any comments you like (keep them PG-13 — this is a family newspaper) and don't touch that dial.

Regards,

The TV Guy